One foot in front of the other

At one point in our lives, we have experienced--or will experience-- something that tears us apart. At that moment we don't have perspective and we dwell on the terror of a given situation. Rightfully so. Some things should tear us apart. It's human to suffer in times of loss. But what gets each of us through the despair is resilience. We must not just believe but also know that the despair will pass and clarity will resume. The most resilient of us address hardships with this attitude. It's hard. Resilience is a skill that takes a lot of practice. Like all skills, it needs fine-tuning. This means that each obstacle we face is an opportunity to get better at resiliency. 

Some of us have experienced real tragedies early on and have had to be resilient not by choice but for survival. I --fortunately or unfortunately (I'm not sure which one...)-- developed this skill later in life. I'm grateful for this and am always looking for ways to develop the ability to ride the waves.

Here's one of my favorite simple tips: put one foot in front of the other. So simple yet so effective. Think about it. At your lowest of lows, you can't move or breathe or exist in reality. All you need to tell yourself as you go through your suffering is "Okay. Put one foot in front of the other. Put one foot in front of the other." Literally look at your feet, and if all you can do all day is look at your feet and watch yourself putting your left foot in front of your right and your right in front of your left, then you have done something. That's all you need to do. Just keep repeating that mantra: Put one foot in front of the other. Eventually, you'll get stronger and you won't need it, or you will come back to it front time to time, but it is an essential way to learn to move again.

Thoughts on Resiliency

We all know this: life is hard.

It's short. It's complicated. It's messy. It's full of sparks of perfection. It's layered. It's also simple. It's many different things to different people all living life right now. It's beautiful. But it's also hard.

I started this blog to talk about resilience: the ability to weather the storms of life and come back stronger than ever. I've developed a close friendship with a wise 75-year-old woman for the last few years, and through our conversations, I have realized that resilience is the foremost quality that guides people toward contentment.

If you're like me, you think everyone else has it better. But what I've realized as I've grown into adulthood is that everyone has it tough in some way. Everyone has their secrets. Their insecurities. Their imperfections. Their doubts. It's also fair to say that some have it tougher than others. But what guides us toward contentment (I like this word better than happiness--happiness seems fleeting) is resilience.

So here I will talk about my successes and struggles and some tips I've found in living a resilient life aiming toward contentment.